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Strips and counting
Geoff often ponders these questions

blog 26.December.2009

I accept credit cards – posted 12-26-09

  For the past semester of my senior year at high school, I’ve been taking an oral composition class. For all of those who don’t know what’s up, oral comp is a public speaking class. It was a ton of fun, we went over informational and even advertising speeches. For my advertising speech, I talked about an advanced device that administered painful pimp-slaps. Feel free to book me for any public seminars.

Suspension from School – posted 6/6/07

  Recently, my brother got suspended for 3 days from his school. At first I wondered if it had to do with it being the 6th of the 6th month of the year; not to mention he is in 6th grade. Three sixes might be a bad thing… just like when THE OMEN came out last year on 6-6-06. Anyway I was thinking about this so called “punishment” the school gives you, and I wondered if it really is a punishment. If they send a kid home, it’s more of a vacation then a punishment. I would rather stay home for 3 days than sit in English class. Does the school actually think you’ll think about what you’ve done? I know I wouldn’t. The occasional yelling at by the parents might take some effect on you, but once you reach my age, you learn how to ignore yelling. My brother still has a lot to learn.

Governmental conspiracies – Posted 1/11/07

  I’m not the one to get into these subjects, but today’s topic is governmental conspiracies. Whenever I have too much time on my hands (rarely) I like to research topics. I’ve researched topics such as the Kennedy assassination, Terrorist attacks… etc. I just watched a video of the terrorist attacks in 2001 and was shocked to find out the following:

1. It was done for money possibly

2. Those were planes with no windows, (how could it be a passenger plane)

3. It had huge unordinary compartments built under the plane possibly carrying bombs/ explosive.

4. before the planes hit the trade center, bright flashes came from under plane (possibly missiles)

Now I wonder what happened to the story about all those people dying. I mean, did they actually find a body from someone on the plane as actual proof? I talked to people about this, and they said that many of these conspiracies are floating around. For example: some say that they never put a man on the moon, and that it was all staged. Could be, but we will never find out. Above all the ideas and crazy nuts, I stand tall to believe that the government is hiding secrets from the American public.

Aspiring Cartoonists- posted 11/14/06

  To all aspiring cartoonists, I’m offering some tips, but not a lot because I am also an aspiring cartoonist. First, I highly recommend Scott Adam’s (Dilbert) Book The Joy of Work. It has an outstanding section about writing humor. In it Scott explains his famous 2 of 6 rules that I have studied and apply religiously. Basically for any thing to be funny, you need at least two of the following six: cute, cruel, bizarre, recongizeablity, clever, and naughty. Some tips from me are that: you need simple sentences; it has to make sense, do not use big words, and do not repeat yourself. As for the drawing, it is important you that you find your own style. I prefer a simple style with nice round letters and fine lines for characters. I also prefer the 3 panel (3 boxes) format as opposed to the 4 panel or 2 panel because it can easily set up a joke. Box 1: story. Box 2: set up. Box 3: punch line. Find your own style!

Top five favorite movies updated- posted 9/05/06

  Reading over my long list of endless blogs… I decided to update my favorite movies list. I love seeing movies, but some movies are painful to watch and some are “you just can’t get enough of it”. Anyway, here’s the list.

“The list”

1. Inside Man 2. Bourne Supremacy. 3. Walk the line. 4. Forrest Gump. 5. Falling down

Steve Irwin- posted 9/04/06

  First off I’d like to say it’s amazing that the year is already rounding 3rd and heading for home base. I’d also like to give a moment of honor to a well known Australian crocodile hunter; Steve Irwin. He died when a sting ray stabbed him in the heart. According to CNN, “Irwin's support crew made a 30 minute dash to a nearby island and a waiting medivac chopper. But no one could save his life, making this the third known fatality in Australian waters from sting rays.” Some say that at least he died doing what he loved to do. Steve had created a legacy and set a mark for people like Jeff Corwin to follow in his foot steps. I feel great sorrow towards his wife and two kids. Steve Irwin was a leader, fighting for what he believed in; and will always be remembered.

  Steven Irwin (1962- 2006)

Long time no see- Posted 8/29/06

  Well tomorrow is my Dad’s birthday; so I’m looking forward to that. I haven’t posted a lot of blogs or news lately (none actually). Mostly because I’ve been so busy lately. I’m back in school, so it’s constant struggle to write comics and keep up school work while dealing with other stuff too. Let’s talk about birthdays. First, Presents come in nicely packed packages (Peter packed pickled pepper packed packages) only to be destroyed by human curiosity. I’ve noticed this with the younger kids mostly; they rip packages open without any stopping. As for me, every year I get older, I become more, “Oooh, papers too nice, must carefully unwrap). I call this the MCU system; which can be found in every aspiring adult. That’s basically it… besides that; I’m trying to get Folks incorporated in my school newspaper… if I do, I’ll write another News column. Speaking of news, I heard a funny headline from somewhere saying, “Chinese woman dies in car crash while teaching her dog how to drive”. So being the person I am… I had to make a comic strip about that which will be published whenever I feel like it. Happy birthday Dad!

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!!!!!!!!!!! Posted 3/17/06

  Guess what everyone? No answer…. Well I suppose you might be thinking it is St. Patty’s day, and you, my friend, are correct (for once). Now, everyone should be wearing green, because I have a pinching machine… Now let’s go dress up as leprechauns and go feed hotdogs to a giraffe at the zoo! (* do not attempt). Well, I’m done… good night and good luck… good luck of the Irish that is…

The Short, Sweet, and Simple SSS Method… posted 3/9/06

   I think I’m developing a case of laziness… Sometimes you just have to keep a answer short, sweet and simple (now being referred to as SSS) like in school when my friends ask what my classes are… but, I have to be obligated to keep it SSS. I simply say, “I don’t know, I’m sorry to disappoint you for not being able to get the knowledge in which you would do nothing practical with. “ or sometimes I just say, “ I don’t pay attention well enough to be able to notice the class number. I just simply go there.” As you can see you would probably notice, you would get the same response as if you would have told them you’re 6 classes. (If you would tell them, they would probably go off a tell their hoodlum friends or this strange girl you don’t even know who has a crush on you… eeeew… that’s creepy!)
Teacher’s sentence;
  The American explorers crossed the dangerous gooey green moat, which endangered crocodiles were swimming in. The crocodiles ate two of the five brave men.
Justin’s SSS sentence
  The idiots in green camo crossed the river with crocs in the water, and got eaten by their own stupidity.
   See, the SSS method works every time.

Far Far Far Away… With the Broomstick. Posted 3/7/06

  I was watching the Oscars last night… I was surprised how many camera people were coming after these stars. Hoover Dam! Leave these stars alone, I think they want to also have a private life! The media networks probably have spies on their front lawns posing as their gardeners. If I was a star… I’d live far far far away.... where the dragons and knights live, well… not quite. The camera people would piss me off so much I would probably punch one of them, break the glass, have people coming after me… see; I would not be a very good star. Knocking out camera men with Base Ball Bats would not boost my popularity… well maybe in prison. Then I would go even further, I would steal the camera truck… but then the police would come after me… and you get the questioning, jail, yellow water, the broomstick, yeah the whole ordeal. Therefore, I am not a movie star, and I am plenty happy with being an amateur or not even close to amateur cartoonist.

Worst strip ever… posted 2/26/06

  The worst strip ever is my Halloween one of 2005. I have no idea what I was thinking when I made that strip… personally I think it’s so bad, that if any dead syndicate editors would ever see it, the would turn over in their graves. If you want to see it; go to the strip library… all the way down and click on 31.Oct.2005. In the strip Walter’s buddy says, oh... you made her cry. Look she is smiling. She is still smiling while she screams. Also, I’d like to point out Fred in the upper window, he is crossed eyed; this was a sign of me screwing up with a permanent marker. I hope no syndicate will ever see this. But it got me laughing how bad it was…

Read what you agree to… posted 2/25/06

  While on the subject of things that make me mad… here’s a new one: user agreement. You know the little agreement; you have to agree to it. But honestly, I don’t read it and maybe 99% of the population doesn’t read it. The software companies could be giving you the worst software, like stuff that freezes your computer, and it’s perfectly legal because you agreed to it. So if I was a software rep or something, I’d make these user agreements extra long, and make it impossible to read because of the small font; then sell the worst software, like stone aged or something where the teach you how to create a wheel. It’s smart, but evil. An unrelated subject; I think Walter has mysteriously changed in looks; maybe it’s my bad penmanship.

The lottery- posted 2/24/06

  Some things really surprise me that they actually attract people. The lottery; I’m surprised that people will actually play this dumb game. I can’t believe they actually think they can win. The odds of them wining are like 3 million to 1. It’s like gambling, except only one person wins. I don’t see any point in that… but however, I believe someone just won over 300 million. However it was an eight way split. Still that’s good money, and it just bought them a nice house and retirement. So the lottery has its pros and cons…

Nothing but Losers in the Olympics- posted 2/23/06

  I don’t understand why all of the Olympic contestants always lose. They spend like their entire life to prepare for this once in a life time experience and all they do is screw up their chance by falling on their butt in front of the entire world. Occasionally out of all the contestants’ one of them does a good run which the judges approve. I wish all of them the best luck. Hopefully, they won’t screw up their next opportunity.

Superbowl Sunday- Posted Superbowl Sunday (2/5/06)

  Well, today is the Superbowl and a lot of football fans are looking forward to it; so I drew a strip for the event. I’m not a real expert at the sport, but I think the Seahawks are going to win. My mom told me that she read an article in one of her many magazines that Superbowl Sunday is the second most eating day in American besides Thanksgiving of course. Interesting. I wonder why they would have it on a Sunday. Why not a Saturday? If it’s on a Sunday, the next day at school or at work everyone is going to be talking about it, which will make the teachers mad. Go Seahawks!

Coffee? What the… posted 2/3/06

   Are you curious why there has been so much tranquilizer and coffee in the last couple of strips? Well guess what; I am too, that’s why I wrote this blog. The tranquilizer… I have no idea. The coffee; first, I know that people act differently when they have had a couple of cups of coffee, like my friends. Second, I think it’s funny having Wool or Stephano drink. And just for the record, I do not drink coffee or use tranquilizer.

State of the Union Speech –posted 1/31/06

   I’m not a really big fanatic about politics, I don’t know very much about the subject;However, I watched the State of the Union Speech; I thought President Bush did a great job summarizing some of the main points like conserving oil and funding hybrid cars.After the speech it was interesting to hear about the interpretations of the speech from Republicans and Democrats. If you would like to see another funny editorial cartoon drawn by Jim Borgman, one of my favorite cartoonists, visit; http://borgman.enquirer.com/weekly/daily_html/2006/01/013106borgman.html

The Irony of Commercials – posted 1/28/06

Every time you see a commercial saying” take our product, it will help you reduce weight”. What the? If you’d really like to lose weight you’d be out exercising instead of sitting on your butt in front of the TV watching the commercial. If you are not one of those active people who would like to lose weight but just sits on couches, eating. You’ll take the pills which are bad for your body and then just gain all the weight again by sitting in front of the TV. And every time you see another one of those stupid vacuum cleaner commercials which describe the product as the best in the business; what fools! The only reason they are advertising is because they aren’t making enough money, because their product just sucks. If you ever fall for any of these commercials, you have a problem. Stupid TV will probably hypnotize you with its dumb commercials and take over the world. Best you don’t watch TV and go outside rather than sit and be brainwashed watching these dumb commercials.

My Inspiration – posted 1/26/06

  Over the years I’ve been a big fan of many cartoonists, but one of my favorite is Jim Borgman. Jim does 5 editorial cartoons a week for the Cincinnati enquirer, and still does his own comic strip, Zits, with partner Jerry Scott. Jim is my inspiration, whenever I don’t feel like drawing all I have to do is look at his work and then I'm inspired… if you’d like to see some of his work, check out http://borgman.enquirer.com.

Just in case you’re wondering… posted 1/24/06

  I’ve been spending the last couple of days just relaxing not worrying about folks. I estimated that from today I do about 17 strips a month. If I keep going at that rate… let me think about that………..that’s 204 strips a year. I think this is too many strips a year… so I decided to cut back on my schedule. Also I decided to throw in more detail in the strip, so look out for things… like the 1/24/06 strip will have a digital clock showing the time I was actually working on the strip the night before; neat, huh? - justin

This is the stupidest blog ever (part 1) - posted 1/18/06

  This may be the stupidest blog ever, but what the heck… if you don’t know what a blog is, it’s web log in the shorter form. If you think this is the end of the blog you’re correct…

Top Five favorite Movies (TFFM) – posted 1/17/06

  I like to watch movies on rainy days; recently I just watched the movie, Serenity. It was a great movie and it got me thinking about writing a blog for my favorite movies. Since I don’t remember a lot of the movies I have seen in the past year… I will simply only ramble about the ones I had seen in the past three months. All of the movies made it one this list because of the great actors and excellent plots. Here are the movies that were lucky enough to make it on the list:

"The List"

    1. King Kong 2. The Island 3. Serenity 4. Young Frankenstein 5. Flight Plan

“I have a dream...” – a tribute to Martin Luther King. Jr. Posted 1/16/06

  “I have a dream... that one day little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers I have a dream today"- Martin Luther King. Jr. (1929- 1968) Today is very special day. I do not have school today, because of Martin; therefore I feel that is important enough to pay a tribute to him. Without him, our world today would be totally different. Without Martin and Rosa Parks, people with different facial color would still be treated differently, like having to sit on the back of the bus. Therefore, today is an important day, and should be remembered.

A Rainy Opportunity - posted 1/15/05

  Some people hate rain others like it. I personally like the rain, because after it’s pulled through, all of the pollen is brought down; creating a crystal clear sky. Then, when it’s nice a clear, you’d better go out and do something, don’t go and get a Star Bucks, and watch a movie. But get out there do something active, like bike or hike (hey, that rhymes). Do something outside when nature gives you this opportunity. Outside I tell you, outside… not to a fast food restaurant. Don’t waste it... Don't waste it!

From the guy that says goodbyes and hello to years,

Justin Horstmann